Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Am I Ready to Write It?

I see that I've retreated so far. I've hidden away from the local society. I haven't really expressed any sort of emotion toward anyone because I'm a wreck. While I do have a dream, I have no purpose right now. I don't have a job and am feeling beaten down. I'm trying to stay under the radar of everyone until I can get secure footing in this quicksand town.

I've retreated this far, I might as well keep searching for the other end of the tunnel. The past, even, is too far behind me to turn back. When I moved back to my hometown, I thought I had it all planned out. You would think after planning 26 years of my life, I would've learned that plans always get erased and re-drawn along the way.

A friend planted a seed in my head Saturday night over Denny's pancakes and eggs. He suggested I start writing a book. Twenty-six and writing a book. The idea flattered me.

The more I marinated on it, though, I questioned if I'd been through enough to write an entire book. Obviously not, at least when compared with great memoir writers like Augusten Burroughs and Dave Eggers. Plus, I don't really remember all that much. Memories seem to come back as experiences and feelings moreso than an actual chain of events.

And, I wonder if I really have the follow-through to keep it up for the following months and years. It'd be a "life after college" thing using my college degree as a credit card lojack into the doors I thought would open, but didn't.

How many aspiring writers, with voices stronger than my own, have not only the dream, but also an unpublished manuscript or even an outline of an idea? How many before me have considering an undertaking like this. Everyone has a book to write. Am I ready to start writing mine?

No, but it couldn't hurt to start logging situations and experiences as they happen. From there, it's only a matter of time before the story starts to write itself.


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10:38 AM  

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